Saturday, October 10, 2009

Christmas Cake

Ingredients: 1 cup of water 1 tsp baking soda 1 cup of sugar 1 cup brown sugar lemon juice 4 large eggs nuts 1 bottle Jose Quervo(sp) 2 cups of dried fruit

Directions: Sample the Quervo to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Quervo again. To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point it's best to make sure the Quervo is still OK. Try another cup... just in case. Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Pick the frigging fruit off the floor. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the Quervo to check for tonsiticity. Next, sift the two cups of salt, or something. Whos giveshz a shit. Check the Jose Quervo. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefing. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the Jose Quervo and hug the cat.

Cherry Mistmas!

Found in "Remember Me" by Laura Hendrie. Published by Henry Holt, 1999.

ED: I think I forgot to add "FWD: FWD: FWD: LOL: FWD:" to the title.


Lady P said...

i am laughing so hard, the tears are rolling down my face, the dog wants to start growling at me and i am wondering why i was ever initially alarmed when the recipe called for so much liquor
i think all baking should be such fun, and ever kitchen should have a few extra bottles of a little "something" to please the cook

daiseered said...

hahahahaha I LOVE THIS!